The Journey to Balance: Understanding Trauma and Finding Peace

Trauma: What is it?

According to the APA “Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, crime, natural disaster, physical or emotional abuse, neglect, experiencing or witnessing violence, death of a loved one, war, and more. Immediately after the event, shock and denial are typical.” (https://www.apa.org/topics/trauma)

What Does That Mean for Us?

Humans strive for balance—that’s why homeostasis exists. We recognize physical balance through mechanisms like sweating, shivering, and excretion. However, mental and spiritual balance are just as important.

If you’re not feeling well, something is out of balance. This applies to all three areas: physical, mental, and spiritual.

When we are out of balance, our growth comes to a halt. For example, if you’re training for a 5K, running with a broken leg is nearly impossible. The solution is to rest, allow the bone to heal, and gradually return to running. Physical healing shows clear signs of progress, such as walking without pain.

Mental and spiritual healing, however, can be more challenging. How do we recognize the signs of recovery? Sometimes we’re unaware of the wound itself. Other times, we’re conditioned to dismiss our wounds and told to simply “think positively.”

What You Need to Know

There Is No Hierarchy of Trauma

Most of my healing comes from religious trauma—being manipulated by religious organizations. For a long time, I didn’t view my experiences as traumatic because I compared them to others’ stories.

This kind of thinking only kept me in denial for eight years.

The important takeaway is that my trauma affects my life, just as your trauma affects yours. Dismissing your pain because “others have it worse” doesn’t help anyone. Healing your wounds honors your experience and positions you to help others in the future. Remember, putting on your oxygen mask before helping others is not selfish—it’s necessary.

You Are Not Alone

During my most anxious, wounded days, I experienced a symptom I nicknamed “the blinders.” Horses wear blinders during parades to avoid being spooked by their surroundings; I felt as though I had blinders on, unable to see the support around me. All I could see was my own emotions and problems.

I later learned this is common. The amygdala—the part of our brain that helps us respond to high-stress situations—activates the fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response. When trauma keeps us in a constant state of stress, fight, and flight can exhaust us, leaving freezing as the default response.

One way to “freeze” is by convincing yourself there’s nowhere to go and no one to turn to. If this resonates, please know you are not alone. There are ways to break free from this cycle of isolation and fear.

Your Trauma Is Not You

In the intellectual and developmental disabilities (IDD) community, language has shifted from labeling to recognizing experiences. For example, instead of saying, “Jimmy has autism,” we say, “Jimmy lives with autism” or “Jimmy lives with an autism diagnosis.”

Let’s apply this to healing. Jimmy isn’t “the broken arm guy”; Jimmy is “the guy with a cast on his arm.” One statement defines him by his condition, while the other acknowledges his experience and the potential for recovery.

I am not “that broken guy.” I am someone who went through a rough patch.

You are not your trauma. You are so much more.

What Can You Do?

Meditation

We have the power to expand and shift our awareness. If you’re wearing “the blinders,” you can take them off.

A helpful technique is the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise. Focus on your breath and list:

• Five things you can see

• Four things you can touch

• Three things you can hear

• Two things you can smell

• One thing you can taste

This practice broadens your awareness and helps combat the blinders.

For ongoing healing, try meditating with a focus on the root chakra. While seated and breathing, imagine your root chakra (near the coccyx) expanding deep into the earth and connecting with the roots of all living things. This practice can instantly create a sense of openness and perspective.

Be Kind to Yourself

Like a broken limb, mental and spiritual healing requires mindfulness and patience. You can’t expect to “run an emotional 5K” right away. Frustration is part of the process, but embracing it with love is essential.

Remind yourself: “I love myself enough to be on this healing journey.”

Ask for Help

No one goes through life entirely alone. When we feel isolated, community becomes our greatest ally.

Here are some tools:

• Shamanism: Shamanic practitioners use rituals and ceremonies to help release the traumas holding you back.

• Coaching: Talking to someone (especially outside your circle of friends and family) can help lighten the load and break the feeling of isolation.

• Social Therapeutic Coaching: Healing in a group setting emphasizes collaboration and ownership of the healing process.

• Therapy: If you have access to therapy, take advantage of it. It works!

• If it heals, it’s not wrong: Healing is personal. If you feel yourself finding balance again, don’t worry about whether it’s the “right” method. If it works, it works.

You’ve got this. Healing is a journey, and you don’t have to walk it alone.